Where to go, when all seems lost?

An INpowered space within.

2018's greatest classroom!


 

The following are some reflections of my journey of discovery as I moved from practicing as a nurse in the health care system to becoming an empowerment coach and soul-full entrepreneur.

This is also and invitation to you to connect. Choose today, to cultivate a new relationship with your INpowered space. Open to exploring how?

contact me for a conversation.


For many years, I worked in the health system. In both the US and Canada. As a registered nurse, in acute care, I struggled with the framework of health within which I practiced.

My greatest moments of alignment presented in the moment to moment exchanges where I was able to serve the person in front of me. And yet, much of my time was spent on navigating the system to do so.

I remember my very first job as a new graduate nurse in the US was greatly focused on tracking expenditures. On ensuring effective and efficient flow through the system. Now, this isn't a "wrong" focus, rather, incomplete. At the time, I assumed it was solely the context within which I practiced, the OR. So, I course corrected and pursued another position that would place me at the bedside of the sick.

For a while, this was satisfying. Soon though, the challenges of the system called me to step into leadership positions where my focus became about the environment within which care was being delivered. My favourite position was a front-line leadership position known as a charge nurse. Why? Because it enabled me to continue to be on the front lines and take that experience forward in my leadership position to improve the environment.

It was an intense and enlivening experience. At the time, I was young and strong in my idealism that I could make the unit for which I was a charge nurse the most k-a place for people to work and come to heal and regain their experience of wellness of body.

Truthfully, some of the most trying experiences were dealing with the very people who were there to help others heal. The egos and demands were many. Often the focus of my attention was drawn to dealing with not the challenges of the sick, but rather, the challenges of those who were there to tend to the sick.

There were many experiences in both the US and Canadian health systems that I came face to face with powerlessness. Powerlessness is, I believe fueled by fear. 

I could clearly see that our own wounds were greatly impacting our ability to be of full service.

I started to feel a calling to influence the lives of those for whom had been called to work in health care. What this would mean in the years to follow, I could not have predicted!

My career in health began to take many different turns. At the core of all of my choices to step into various roles, lived a deep desire to improve the environment within which health was being delivered.

For years, I plugged away in various roles of administration and education. At some point the notion of personal leadership emerged for me. Managing the system well began to feel incomplete. In fact, this was a struggle for many. I wondered what could leadership development offer.

I felt inept to move the needle. I awoke to the pain that lived in so many I worked alongside. I came face to face with my own pain that emerged of not being able to help. Of needing to examine my desire to help others heal, and to own my call to heal myself.

I could see that making changes on/with the external environment alone, could not truly change the health care experience. In fact, this was bearing true for my personal life as well. 

Some have called it the geographic cure. Attempting to change experience by moving and or re-arranging the "deck chairs on the Titanic". 

Albert Einstein's quote sums it up quite well

 

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.

The invitation lives for us all in healing and growing into a more expanded, aligned level of consciousness. For me it has flipped everything on its head. 

So, I became curious about what it would take to shift the inner landscape of leaders in the system. I experimented with the view that

if we could affect healing and growth within the leaders in the system, the system itself had a chance to be reborn.

Little did I know at the time that I was embarking on a journey of becoming that is about the journey and not the destination. More on that later:)

I knew on some level that if I, a health care provider, a leader entrusted by the public to be of service in their healing, did not feel worthy; felt powerless; felt that I knew more about what was needed than those with whom I was there to serve, together, we would be destined to continue delivering a system that was separate in nature, driven by fear and scarcity and was doomed to collapse.

I started reading and studying systems theory. I stepped into a multitude of leadership development programs. I pursued life coaching. I pursued studies of the chakras and of the quantum sciences. I dove into eastern studies of yoga and Ayurveda. I began to explore spirituality as a pathway of healing. I then had the joy and honour to find soul companions along the way. We fueled our hope and optimism and began to bring new information, new approaches that invited a more holistic consideration for the individuals within the system.

As I experimented with living what I was learning, I changed inside AND my choices shifted. I started to own and honour my inner clarity. I tested it outside of myself. In doing so, experiences did shift. My experience of the environment shifted. I felt empowered and awake.

I can remember so clearly when I could feel shifts starting to take place. Where people started to feel that they could have a voice and could make different choices. It was incredible.

Then, the

immune system of the system kicked in.

You see I have come to truly appreciate systems. At the end of the day, any organization is but a collective of people who come together from their individual system to co-create a greater system we call an organization.

Like with our bodies, when a foreign source/substance enters, our immune system is intelligently designed to kick in to defend against this foreign substance. Once we'd started to elevate and make visible a foreign vision of collaboration and healing, we were stopped. And we retreated.

Before choosing to leave the “system”, I had the opportunity to come at it again. This time, framing our initiative in the language of the system of economic effectiveness and efficiency improvement. At its heart was an initiative born of a deep desire to heal through listening and revealing the system to itself. Surely, we’d thought, once seen, NEW choices would become clear.

Not so. For me personally, I can share I was devastated. In the depths of my being I could see all that I had learned and collaborated with others to bring forward to affect transformation of a health system based on fear, to a health system based on love, justice and caring didn’t work.

It was a rude awakening for me. I had lost the desire to be a part of a system that was deeply committed to its own demise. I chose to leave and start my own business. This choice was grounded in a dream of working with people outside of the system to positively affect their sense of well-being, so, what they did would spread wellness and not fear, stress and sickness. My initial tag line vision was, Well doing, starts with well-being. 

I had a deep desire to contribute in ways that I believed could start to shift environments from the inside out. In choosing to do this, I stood firm in a belief I had about leadership as being a key doorway in. For quite sometime, I held firm to contributing to leadership development in many different industries. In my heart I thought that supporting leaders to lead with greater awareness and choice could be a profound lever to shift the well-being of self and others. Maybe I could affect healing outside of the cultural realm of the health care system.


Fast forward to today, I am coming to see that like the health care system, for many, the known and the familiar (even when it creates sickness, stress and struggle) holds greater value than the promise of healing (the domain of surrendering to the unknown).

It takes great courage to step out and into the unknown in our lives.

We must come face to face with truths and guidance that live in what I view as the spiritual domain of life. The very world view of what and who we are must shift and expand. 

I am also aware that,

wherever we are, well, that is, just perfect.

I am also coming to welcome the view that life is a workshop. We each have various streams of courses to move through. At the core, we're here to grow. The choice point is often whether we'll choose to grow in response or as a co-creator. Whether we'll meet each moment, each choice point from love or fear.

Early on in my development as a coach and student of metaphysical studies, this phrase emerged,

we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.

It was everywhere. It didn’t matter what field of study I stepped into, I was opening up to considering forces at work within myself and the world that were unseen. Unseen, and yet profoundly powerful. It awoke a deep curiosity in me that logically didn’t make sense to pursue, and yet, I could not, not pursue it.

It has been so far a journey of over a decade of study that has yielded immense unlearning and relearning the nature of what it means, holistically to be human. A few weeks ago, I was in a conversation about my work and I was sharing that I care about helping people to live an empowered life. I love to transverse the practical spirituality of growth.

How could our spirituality not be practical? 


Spirituality for me is a co-creative relationship with the divine nature of life. A force that is and lives through each of us. A force that is co-creative and loving at it's core.

To step into relating with this has demanded that where "I go for direction" is, inside.

Passage ways of breath, body, stillness, meditation, mindful movement and prayer support me practically, daily.


Today I am grounded in a holistic healing and growth world view that supports us to connect to the divine INpowered space within. From here, creating a new narrative of working WELL together becomes possible. 

A co-creative journey where we stand in the "me" of it while healing in the "we" of it.

There is a great saying I once heard and reflect on often. We are most wounded in relationship, therefore, the domain of the healing of the wound exists only as a possibility in relationship.

Our lives have been fueled for so many years in a world view of separation. It is time we step beyond our past. I am carrying a new mantra for myself into 2018.

"That was then, this is NOW."

A structure to help remind me to take a breath and check in with myself. To connect with the INpowered space within about my very next step. 


I find myself often standing in the gap of this. The gap can at times feel lonely and isolating. And yet,

when I am still and listen, connecting with then INpowered space within, I know here, I am truly never alone.

As an empowerment coach, my greatest desire is that you connect, begin and cultivate a new relationship with your INpowered, holistic divine nature.

Why?

Because the world needs us all. It needs us all to align with our divine nature as we move out into the world with our work, TOGETHER.

This is your journey and you do not have to do it alone. Connect with me today, to explore what might best serve where you stand today, and where you are being called to move next.