I see three deadly C’s of Collaboration for women:
Compartmentalization, Comparison and Competition
Today, let’s take a dive into a key strategy that has served me well in the "me & we" dance, that NO LONGER yields what I am most hungry for called…compartmentalization.
Compartmentalization and Connection: A Double Bind
We are designed for connection. Yet, how many of us struggle with feeling that joie de vivre when engaging with others. I know I do. What I have discovered in recent conversations with women in particular, those who've chosen a professional track of service, is our uncanny ability to compartmentalize.
I call it chunking ourselves up! Creating a vending machine to house our being.
Dolling out the “appropriate” aspect we feel could fit the bill of the moment.
I believe this has been a most genius and beneficial approach for me in my life, and at the same time, NO LONGER serves who I am choosing to become.
A key challenge of this "approach/strategy" is that when I'm busy managing the aspects of my being, I'm not present to the richness and potential of the moment.
Another downside to this master plan, is that it requires ALOT of energy. Energy focused on “trying to get it right” in relating with others. The outcome becomes less than intended. The overall experience, not much fun.
As I have chosen to stand in a holistic and interconnected world view I've been brought me to my knees at times. Why? because in truth, whatever is unfolding has a direct link to what I am bringing. Even in the most sh…ty’est of experiences, I can always find a popcorn trail back to moi.
Another good news/bad news story of relating.
Often the very thing we find that jazzes us about the "other" of that which irritates, frustrates or even repels us, offers clues to some of the “locked away parts of ourselves”. The aspects of our expression, our being, that we've masterfully put away for another day.
I am committed sometimes with great success, and often with the rich learning of failure, to dissolving this age-old pattern of compartmentalization. In doing so, I've discovered some key calls from my soul that have become a constant hum.
I share them here with you, in case they may spark you're own new narrative around dissolving your walls.
Be vulnerable & let go. Just be Cathy.
Say no, even when all of the voices in my head tell me I “ought to say yes”
Stop shopping & pulling out what I feel would be the acceptable version, let it all hang out sista!
Take a breath & take back the right to say I don’t know, or guess what? I've changed my mind.
Be willing for people to have their reactions and responses, RESPECT THAT AND DON'T TAKE ON OTHER'S STORIES.
In this emerging exploration of imagining a new narrative of the me and we, there is no longer room for this well – honed strategy of compartmentalization. As I type this I can feel the rush of OMG, and choose to trust and have faith in my willingness to keep swimming.
You know Dorey’s wise words…
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming”
and while I am floating in the sea of life, I can choose to pause every now and to invite the current to take the lead while I soak in the fullness of the experience.
Let's take it easy sistas!
What's your dance of compartmentalization?
Who might you become if you dissolved your walls?