Reflections & Projections. What Are You Seeing In Your Relationships?

Life is a dynamic, evolving experience. Relationships form the web of our experiences.

On a broad (Meta) level, wholeness and non-duality is I believe our shared experience. Having said that, what makes it fun, interesting and at times challenging (essential for our growth), is contrast.

Contrast breathes the sensorial experience of life. Contrast can be a great companion for clarity. We see, feel, hear, smell, taste what we don’t like and discover what we do like. We experience what we don’t believe to gain clarity on what we do believe. We say we believe X and yet continue to choose Y. Once again, clarity is revealed in the reflection of our choices.

Invitation to listen…

Invitation to read more thoughts….

We’re enculturated in life to follow pathways of being & doing that set up lines in the road. Lines that are encoded with polarities and metrics. Ethics, values and character choice points are important strands of these webs, lines in the road. Lately I have found it to be increasingly important to be curious about what lines in the road I am choosing to follow, mindfully in my life.

As a result, I’ve noticed the value of mindfully engaging reflections and observing my use & experience of projections.

There are lots of emotionally triggered conversations unfolding for us all these days. It can be helpful to start to bring our attention to the dynamic nature of reflections and projections. To choose to engage “in the moment practices” to support pausing before we speak, pausing before we act and pausing before we let our minds take off down un-helpful pathways of thinking. What does pausing look like?

There are lots of present moment awareness ~ pausing practices you might choose to engage.

A few of my favourites are:

  1. Stop & Take a few long deep breaths.

  2. Feel your hands, feet and seat in the chair.

  3. Then, ask yourSelf inside. What would best serve this ME & WE here, now?

Discernment is an important skill to cultivate for those of us choosing to be spiritual warriors.

There are lots of definitions in science and psychology around reflections & projections.

Today, for me, they describe a feminine stance (reflections) of being in the ME & WE and a masculine stance (projection). One is not better than another. Rather, I see them as the flow of a feedback loop with life.


Reflections & Projections are an invitation to pause and check-in with what is real and true for me, inside. And to be curious about “what is a story or an experience of another” that may indeed be true for them, but not necessarily true for me.

For those of us who are quick to internalize feedback and experiences on a deeply personal level, this can be tricky.

What I am learning is the value of creating space for pause. For asking to digest a message and or experience and agreeing to get back to another, once I have had time to process what has just occurred. This for me is an act of self-regard.
— Cathy

One where I am aware of my default and truly want to consider what has mirrored (reflection) back to me and to be curious about what I am attributing to the situation or another (projection).

In our ME & WE dances what’s possible if we each were to slow down to consider how reflections and projections are forming the webs of our relationships?


There are times when the reflection offers potent insights. Times when projections reveal what we’re challenged to own within ourselves and times when we can own that, what we see, is not our own to carry.

Rather than a direct pathway of clarity, reflections and projections invite us to begin to lift up and view the dance. 

To view our current web of ME & WE.


I am learning this has been inviting me to increase my comfort with discomfort. To relate to what is versus what was or could have been and to choose to show up in my full imperfections. To be mindful of what I choose to allow to take up space in my mind & heart. 


What are you noticing with reflections & projections in your ME & WE dances?

Consider what’s bending back into your awareness (reflection) and what you’re attributing, assigning, identifying out there (projection).

Both views may offer an invitation to re-spin some webs!